I think I must admit with more than a little chagrin that the hypocrite this time is me.
I hate New Year's resolutions. Every year I resolve, and by the second week of January, nothing has changed. The second week of June comes and goes with no effect. I'm still the same skinny/overweight, sloppy, non-Mother-calling bozo I was on December 31st.
So this year, I have made my resolutions just nebulous enough that I will have to try really hard not to meet my goals, because apparently that's the best I could come up with to participate with the mores and still feel good about myself.